yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
