I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
