i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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