**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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