Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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