I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
