You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
they need to just BURY HIM!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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