Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I need water and some morals
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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