So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
