the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
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