I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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