dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
