so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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