I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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