I cockslap morals
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
