Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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