Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
