my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize