Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
