Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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