By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
