woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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