did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
