either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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