every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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