i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
