got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
