im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
