pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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