i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
