He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Panties = found
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
