i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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