she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
