Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
