i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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