OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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