a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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