doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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