Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize