my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
