So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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