Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
