My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize