WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize