Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
