I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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