Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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