ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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