So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
