Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
