I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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