I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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