I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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