i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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