I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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