all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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