i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
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well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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