it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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