check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
