5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
